Let It Go
by PhoenixWormwood137
Summary: If you love something, let it go. Yes, even your favorite season. Yes, even your best friend.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I obviously don't own Phineas and Ferb, because if I did, I would be writing real episodes instead of fanfictions (boy, that would be fun)!**

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><p>Phineas Flynn sat on the edge of his bed, looking up at the ceiling of his room and wishing that the sky outside would always stay as blue and perfect as the cloud-covered mural painted above him.<p>

In his hands, he held a pencil and a huge piece of paper, on which an intricate calendar that started on September sixth was drawn. A countdown calendar.

There was also a "to do" list which had been extensively doodled upon. The lines that the list provided to write notes on were bordered with suns and water balloons, and filled to bursting with notes.

Phineas looked down at the paper absentmindedly. A song was playing itself inside his head, and he was trying to remember where he had heard it before.

.

_Summer, it's ponds and pools and garden hoses, trying to beat the heat_

_Summer, it's bicycles and roller-skates and even just bare feet._

_It's also surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots, locating Frankenstein's brain,_

_Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent, and driving our sister insane!_

_Summer, it's crickets and cicadas and a glass of lemonade._

_Summer, it's sitting with your brother in the backyard under the shade of our big tree – that's what it means to me…_

_._

"That's what it means to me," he said out loud, and lay back on his bed, making sure his position was such that he couldn't see out the window. He knew what he would see if he looked out – the tree his song was about, the tree he and his brother had so many adventures under, tinged with red and gold instead of its usual reassuring green.

It was fall. It was autumn. It was harvest time.

"Why does this season have so many names?"Phineas wondered out loud. "If I could, I'd erase it completely. Then it wouldn't have any names."

He sat bolt upright. "Ferb! I know what we're going to do today! Let's extend summer! All we have to do it combine the technology from our time machine with-"

The blank silence pressing in on his eardrums stopped him short. It was a different silence from the one he usually got in response to his Big Ideas. It wasn't an electrical, happy quietness, full of agreement and enthusiasm. It was expressionless nothingness. The absence of sound and feeling.

"What, you don't want to?"

Phineas looked up at his stepbrother, who was sitting in the corner with a book on his lap.

"You don't want to extend summer? What happened to 'Carpe Diem?'"

Ferb sighed.

"Seize the day, Phineas. _This_ day. Not yesterday."

"You don't want more of our favourite season? More sunlight and longer days and shorter nights?"

Ferb swivelled his seat so he was facing his computer. "I'm going to miss you, Phineas."

Phineas' eyes filled with tears, and he twisted his hands together. "Don't you want to stay back from boarding school? I don't want to be alone."

Ferb didn't say anything.

"Come _on,_ bro!" Phineas said, scampering up to Ferb and shaking his shoulder a little. "There's so much more to do! We didn't surf the Internet using only our nervous systems! We didn't actually get around to that cold fusion reactor we were gonna build! We never even found out where Perry goes everyday." He looked dejectedly around. "Where _is_ Perry, anyway?"

Ferb took a deep breath, preparing himself to speak at length, and turned back to face Phineas. With a shock, he realized his brother was crying.

For a second, his resolution wavered, and then he steeled himself and spoke.

"What do you believe about summer?"

"I believe – what do I believe about summer?" Phineas looked confused. "Uh – well, I believe in seizing the day. I believe in – making every minute count."

"What else? What did you tell Buford at the beginning of vacation?"

Phineas floundered helplessly for a second, wanting to deny he remembered speaking to Buford about his worldview, and then gave in. "I told him I like to keep moving forward."

"That's it. Phineas, don't throw away your beliefs when times get hard. Stick to them, rain or shine. Fall or summer."

Phineas looked down at his countdown calendar, his eyes scanning the circled day – June third – at the end of the school months, and the crammed summer "to do" list.

"But – don't you want a little extra time?"

"Of _course_ I want extra time. I wish I could spend every minute of every day for the rest of the year inventing with you, under that tree."

He gestured at the window, but Phineas didn't look out.

"Phineas…" Ferb said, his tone gentle. "You've got to look at the autumn colours sometime. We're going to have to face fall sometime, unless we want to live a lie and go on with an endless summer for the rest of our lives. Everything comes to an end. What would be use of never growing up, just being stuck in limbo, inventing and building 'till we can't stop? Isn't it better to go our separate ways, just for now?"

"I don't want you to leave." Phineas' voice trembled.

"I don't want to leave, either." Ferb looked at the floor, where his suitcase was packed, a picture of Phineas and himself on top of the folded clothes. "England's a terribly long way from Danville. But I'll be home for Christmas. And Easter. And then, it'll be summer again, and we'll be a whole year older and wiser. How will we learn if we don't go to school? How will we ever stand for our beliefs if we let them go at the slightest challenge? What you believe about summer should stand strong through the winter. What did we learn from Perry? What did we learn from our caveman?"

"If you love something, let it go."

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><p><strong>I might extend this if people want me to! Anyway, review if you feel like it :) And thanks for reading!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**This is the exact same day, three years later.**

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><p>Phineas sat in his room, trying to read a homework assignment but unable to process the words.<p>

All he could think about was the horrible feeling inside. _It's like people are split into two personalities,_ he thought. _You feel like you know someone but then – they get mad at you – and –_

He heaved a deep sigh, and gave up reading the science textbook. Instead, he reached for the phone on his desk and dialled a long-distance number. There was a handful of ringing sounds, and then someone picked up at the other end.

"Hey, buddy," Phineas said. "How was your first day of school?"

"What's wrong?" the British voice was worried, alert.

Phineas sighed again. He had meant to sound cheery and not bring up his issues until the end of a seemingly casual conversation – but there was no pulling the wool over Ferb's eyes.

"'Kay, I'll tell you," he said, and rolled over onto his back, staring up at the cloud-covered ceiling. "I've got two girls mad at me."

Ferb whistled, and Phineas frowned. "It's _not_ funny. Remember me telling you about Gretchen? Well – I broke up with her today."

"And she's mad?"

Ferb talked more when he was on the phone, because his brother couldn't translate his questioning glances when he was thousands of miles away. But Phineas missed his inquisitive silence. He would've known just what to say if Ferb was right here in the room with him. He was rather tongue-tied at the moment. Girls were confusing, and talking about them was worse.

"Ummm – well, I didn't really know what happened. I told her – um, I told her we were just friends. I mean, what could I do?" he was suddenly defensive. "I'm pretty sure she wanted, like, a kiss, and that's just weird … for me. We're only fifteen, and we weren't even really dating. So I guess I broke it to her that I wasn't really interested, and she's totally mad at me now."

Ferb was quiet for a minute, and then he asked, "And who's the other angry girl?"

"Isabella. Who else? Gretchen told her about the break-up and she was really mad that we were dating without her knowing. She wanted to know why I didn't tell her. I didn't really know what to say, 'cause we _weren't _dating. We just went out a couple times. It was by accident."

Ferb was quiet – for so long Phineas cocked his head and said, "Ferb? Are you there?"

A stifled giggle broke over the speaker. Ferb was laughing his head off, trying to bottle it up with a hand stuffed in his mouth, but failing.

"I told you, it isn't funny!" Phineas said. Ferb's chuckles died down a little, but Phineas turned over onto his stomach again, his eyebrows drawn together at the middle, still not satisfied. "Ferb, stop laughing."

Only the desperate tone of Phineas' voice could've shut Ferb up, he found the situation so hilarious. But he figured his brother really needed his help, and so he stopped laughing and cleared his throat. "What's wrong?"

"Gretchen. I don't want to completely end – I don't know what to call it – our – relationship? Um, no. Our friendship. She's a really nice girl, I just don't feel – that way about her."

Ferb smiled into the phone somewhere in the middle of England. "Remember what I told you three years ago, when summer was ending?"

"Uh - I don't know."

"If you love something, let it go."

"What? How does that even apply here?"

"Well, let the relationship end. If it's worth having, the _friendship_ will last."

"Oh - okay. What about Isabella?"

"Don't worry about her. Just tell her you weren't actually dating Gretchen."

"She won't listen!"

"You'd be surprised. Listen, Phineas, I must dash. Lights out is in ten minutes."

"Yeah, alright. Have fun at school! I miss you already."

"Ditto, my friend."

The phone went dead; Ferb had hung up.

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><p><strong>I'm thinkin' this will be a four or five part story. 'Cause I can't make anything short, curse my overgrown imagination!<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Uhhh – first, APOLOGIES. *****facepalm* I TOOK SO LONG TO WRITE THIS!**

**Yes – I am bad. I am a bad, bad girl! I'm **_**this**_** bad! *cracks up* I can't take it anymore! Carl was doing my arms.**

**Sorry. You know you watch too much Phineas and Ferb when… random lines come up in your author's notes…**

**Okay, seriously. It's been so long, you guys probably don't even remember what story this is! :P I'm so sorry. I'm a lazy, procrastinating person! Grr.**

**In this chapter, there's going to be some mentions of pain. This chapter might get a "T". I'm not sure. Letting things go gets harder for Phineas and Ferb.**

**Brotherly fluff, not slash, just thought I'd say that up front. Enjoy! :D**

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><p>"Flush with water, what does that even <em>mean?"<em>

Phineas curled into a ball, shaking with pain, as his sister's screaming grated at his ears. Why was _she_ yelling? Weren't_ his_ cries of pain noise enough already?

Strong hands took his shoulders, and he heard Ferb snap over the sound of the blood rushing in his ears.

"Shut up and help me carry him!" Ferb said.

"Where?"

Phineas whimpered, scrubbing at his eyes with his fists like a small child, and someone grabbed his wrists. He struggled.

"_Help_ me, Candace!" Ferb again.

Phineas felt himself being lifted up, felt the heavy rise and fall of someone's chest under his head. He couldn't hear their heart beating. Was that because he was still screaming, or because he was dead? Or did that mean _the person holding him _was dead?

Couldn't the pain go away, if it had already killed him? Did it have to stick around?

And then the water came, running over his face and into his hair, down his burning throat so that he almost choked, then finally into his fiery, stinging eyes.

He stopped yelling, and just panted for air as the water rushed over him, into his hair and onto his shoulders.

"That should be good."

The water was gone. He didn't hurt anymore. Phineas tried to open his eyes.

It wouldn't work – his lids wouldn't lift. He blinked. But how could be blink if his eyes were closed? He blinked again. His eyelashes were definitely coming together. So why couldn't he see anything?

"Phineas…" Ferb's voice – deadly serious. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"I don't know." Phineas' voice trembled.

"Can you see _anything?_" Ferb asked desperately.

"N-no."

Phineas felt Ferb hug him, cry into his shoulder, and he put his arms around his brother's shoulders, feeling confused. "I'll be okay," he said.

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><p>"Totally blind?"<p>

Phineas sat on the doctor's table, sobbing. "H-how could this even happen?"

"When cleaning fluid gets into your eyes… it can be bad." The doctor said, her voice heavy.

"How long until I can see again?"

There was a pause, and Phineas knew the worst. "I'm never going to be able to see _anything_ – ever again?"

Another silence.

"I need Ferb," Phineas said.

"No visitors, not now."

"But I _need_ him!"

"Sweetheart…"

Phineas tried to push the doctor's hand away, but missed.

"You need to rest." The doctor pushed Phineas down onto the bed, gently. "Don't move, or you could fall. I'll be back shortly."

As Phineas lay there, the world pressed down on him. He was trapped – every muscle in his body was stiff – he couldn't move, or he could fall. How far? He couldn't tell. Onto what? He couldn't tell.

He thought of Ferb, and cried some more, feeling the invisible tears run down his cheeks. He wouldn't be able to enjoy summer anymore – he wouldn't even be able to enjoy school, the way he used to. He'd have to learn Braille – a whole other language!

What would Ferb say in a situation like this?

Let it go?

Phineas closed his eyes – not that it made any difference – and cried out silently.

_How am I supposed to let this go?_ He thought. _I'll never be able to do anything the same._

"Not true," he whispered, imagining Ferb beside him, boosting his spirits. "Not true."

_Of course it's true,_ he argued with himself. _Give me one example. Give me one time that will be the same, blind or seeing._

"My first kiss," he said out loud. "That will be the same. Eyes closed anyway, right? My family will love me just the same. And Izzy wouldn't break up with me, just 'cause I can't –"

He broke down in tears again. He'd never be able to see his beautiful girlfriend. She'd just be in his imagination.

"It's gonna be so different," he sobbed.

"Isn't _different_ an adventure?"

"Ferb?" Phineas' reflexes told him to sit up and look around for the British boy, but his newfound insecurity told him to lie down and forget about seeing the green hair, the blue eyes, the comforting smile.

"Ferb, are – are you there?"

"I'm always here," Ferb said, and he was almost crying – Phineas could hear it in his voice. "I'm always going to be here for you. We'll learn to do this together."

"Thanks." The word was a whisper.

"Just – don't worry," Ferb said. "Let it go – it's going to be an adventure. Not the kind we would have chosen, perhaps, but…"

The brothers cried together for a long moment, both emptying their miserable hearts tear by tear. Then Ferb's breath caught. "I must dash. Doctor's coming. I'm not supposed to be here –"

Phineas heard the sound of footsteps running away. He listened until they were out of earshot, and then he opened his unseeing eyes, and relaxed against the bed.

A hard adventure, yes. But if he was going to live with this, he'd have to let it go.

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><p><strong>Cheesy? Sorry. I just felt like it. :P I guess I HAVE to continue now, huh? Well, I will TRY :D<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

Ferb sat, watching his little brother fumble with the television remote. The redhead's fingers slid over the buttons on the remote, a slight smile touching his lips.

"This is the power button, right, Ferb?" he said.

"That's right."

It was just like old times – the times they had been separated by miles, talking to each other on the phone. Like their communication while Ferb was at the boarding school in England. He had convinced his mother to let him stop attending the place three years ago – because he missed seeing Phineas' face so very, very badly. Now Phineas would never see Ferb again.

Ferb had to start talking more again, and he wasn't really comfortable with that. Often, awkward silences would stretch between the boys.

Phineas' fingers navigated the remote again. "Channel up. Am I right?"

Ferb sighed. "Let me_ try_."

"Try what?" Phineas turned to Ferb without thinking about it, and then remembered moving his head wasn't really going to help him with anything. "Try what?" he asked again.

"To heal you!" Ferb ran a thumb over Phineas' ruined eyes, feeling the smooth eyelids and knowing the destruction beneath them. "I'm sure I could do it."

"You're just saying that." Phineas smiled, but the expression was a touch forced. "We're not doctors, bro."

"But we're geniuses."

"Not medically. Name all the parts of the eye and what they do."

Ferb floundered for a second and then gave up. "I can't."

"See?"

"I could learn them. People have made mechanical hands. It shouldn't be too hard to make new eyes."

Phineas said nothing, just shook his head and ran his hands over the remote some more.

"Pause?" he asked in a whisper.

Ferb got up and walked away, shutting the living room door behind him.

Once outside in the hallway, he slid down the wall 'till he was sitting on the carpet, clutching his knees to his chest.

He understood his brother's reasoning – he would be scared, too, having already lost his sight, to let an untrained boy operate on his brain, like Ferb would have to if he wanted to help Phineas. But this made him angry. Phineas, deep down, didn't trust Ferb with _everything_. They were brothers, for goodness sake.

"Ferb, honey."

Ferb jumped, and then looked up to see his mom, Linda, standing there. "Go talk to your brother," she said. "You know it's not his fault."

"It sort of is, though," Ferb said. "Fixing the washing machine for you was his idea."

"Yes." Linda looked troubled. "You boys shouldn't have –"

"I _know." _Ferb swallowed tears.

"But it wasn't his fault the cleaning fluid got in his eyes."

"No," Ferb agreed reluctantly.

"Can't you forgive him, then?"

"What? I'm not angry at him!"

"Yes, you are, though." Linda put a hand on his shoulder. "I can tell."

Ferb shook his head.

"Sweetheart –" Linda knelt down. "What did Phineas do to make you upset?"

Ferb pressed his lips together, searching his mind and tracking down an elusive answer. "He became blind," he said after a little deliberation, and his voice almost broke as he said it. _You don't know the fun we used to have,_ he thought. _Now it's all gone. He'll never be normal. It isn't the same._

"Go talk to your brother," Linda said again, and nudged Ferb gently with her foot.

"_Fine_."

Ferb pushed open the living room door and sat down beside Phineas again.

There was a stiff pause. Then Phineas opened his mouth to speak – and Ferb broke down.

"Why are you crying?" Phineas gasped, flinging his arms around his brother.

"Summer is over for good," Ferb whispered.

Phineas' damaged eyes filled with tears, and he broke away from Ferb.

Ferb was the blind one for a minute or two, the one trapped in his own little world of fear and desperation. And when he finally looked over, he saw Phineas curled on the far side of the couch, face red and blotchy. It looked like he had been sobbing his heart out – his breathing still came hard, and hiccups jerked his throat at random intervals.

"Phineas?" he said.

"I'm sorry, bro." Phineas' voice was hoarse. "It's my fault, you're right. I don't blame you for being mad."

"You heard me talking to mom?"

"I'm … s-sorry."

Ferb sighed. "I just – let it go, right?"

"Those are some of the only words that got me through the week at the hospital. I'm just saying." Phineas dragged the sleeve of his orange striped t-shirt across his nose. "You gotta pay attention to them, Ferb. They mean something. Something big. We can still sing, we can still make summer last. It's just – let the old times go?"

Ferb sniffed, and wiped away his tears. "That lesson could take a lifetime to learn."

"Then let's learn it." Phineas took the remote control, placed it in Ferb's hands, and put his own fingers over his brother's.

.

"Show me where the number three is," he said.

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><p><strong>Is that the end? It feels complete, to me, but I'm sort of getting fond of the story.<strong>

**Review? Thanks for reading :)**


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